The Unpublished readers will know that I am an avid reader of Harry Potter fan fiction. I have tried with mighty willpower to attempts to branch out but the mammoth list of HP fanfic on Wattpad has increasingly pushed everything else to the back. 1970's, is one of the more adult HP fanfics, unique in running parallel timelines in two distinct eras, Marauder's and the Golden Trio. Following the blooming and witherings of the romance between Josephine Attaway and Sirius Black, this wattpad story has a growing readership and a writer with a dedicated schedule of new chapters.
[A/N 1970's has not yet reached Completed status, so I will give a certain amount of leeway in regards to spelling and grammar.]
Title: 1970's
Author: Viiv-xvii
Published: Last Updated Oct. 2017
Format: Fan-fiction
Publisher: Wattpad
Epeolatry London's Rating: **
Her's Rating: ***
The Review
The story starts well, tension instantly present which thrilled me as a reader, but then something that is actually quite difficult to do happened; the tension stayed around. This wasted the gift that tension gives, becoming background noise rather than an almost tangible guest star. But this does negate the skill at which Wormfoot (VIIV-XVII) begins her narrative in the future without loosing reader interest in the question of 'What will happen?' This opening perfectly sets up what to expect in the coming chapters that will chop and change between the two tenses.
It was the character of Josephine 'Seph' Attaway that instantly hooked me. She seemed like the most grounded of HP fanfic's original character, and if I am honest I adore the fact that she is actively bisexual; not in name only. Refreshingly unique, this inclusion into the narrative could bring up brilliant tension!However, there are some issues with the character writing but rewrites and work on Josephine (and the others) would quickly rectify this. The other characters have epitomised background characters to literally sometimes, with little character development or creation. They are 2-dimensional, even those that are central characters.
1970's language is very readable, little trouble with structure or punctuality, and is perfectly suited to the swapping between two different periods. There is a focus on actions and body language which creates more room for action than description. No longer was a situated need to be explained and described it can be acted out. This is an overlooked technique that dominates YA & maturer stories, which this story is looking to situate itself within.
Her's Opinion
The star ratings are different for this wattpad story but this is because when I am looking for a scoring in regards to the structure and writing of the plot and its characters I put aside any feelings I have. 1970's received two stars, as it was not to the standard that I have seen of other three stars. The language was good, really good actually, but there were too many issues in other areas. Too many moments that I though further research and life experience would better portray the emotional journey of Josephine. Drug and alcohol abuse should never be skimmed over. The little details should be included or else it can be handled in a manner that is not sensitive to its destructive nature. I think a hint or for the plot to show why her mother is an addict as this will make the resulting consequences some much more emotional.
I personally gave three stars because for once I can see that it is on the threshold to soar. It is not the most unique take on the Harry Potter world and its characters, but the character of Josephine and what she experiences in her years since meeting and loving Sirius are; and I need more! Sorting out the problems will free it up and I cannot wait to see where this, and the plot, will take me.
Recommendations
1. I am guessing that the title is a nod towards the years in which the Josephine, and her friends, spent at Hogwarts. If this is so then the a apostrophe and the 's' need to swap sides or the apostrophe dropped altogether.
2. When a character's personalities and central beliefs change due to an event then the coming chapters and events resulting from this change should be treated as a reaction, not as a plot driver or appear like a plot filler. It feels like a waste of time. This is in particular reference to the traumatic event whilst she is attending Hogwarts that resulted in her emulating the actions of her mother. A brilliant way to counteract this is to never write from a partial POV. It should never become a context but an issue, the context is the event that caused such a drastic change; like I said, everything following is a cycle of real reaction and consequence.
3. The characters of 1970's are reliant on the knowledge that the reader's would have of them. They are what I would call shades; visible but they lack depth and diversity. The best advice would be to rid the use of real people as 'literary actors' for your characters. Once you have rid yourself of this you will find that you have opened yourself, freeing your creativity, in the development, even the evolution, of who your characters' are.
4. Whenever a character is introduced, whether they are previously known to the reader or not, your interpretation needs to be instantly obvious. Why does no one introduce the marauders through what they do best? Mischief. Show their central characteristics through how they act and react to these circumstances.
5. A human being has so many emotions and we can rage our way through them at alarming rates in just a single day. So as a reader we should be made to feel a variety of them within just a few chapters. This creates an emotional investment in the reader's.
6. If the maintaining of tension is a conscious choice, then it needs to be refreshed through minute periods of tension-relieving comedy. Another way is the use of different forms of tension. Sexual, angst, excitement, and mystery are all forms that can be used to keep a reader's interest during a long period of tension driven narrative.